“Isolation is the Dream Killer”

The late, great Barbara Sher said, “Isolation is the Dream Killer.” Watch her TED talk linked here, but if you’re in a hurry, her message in the talk is that trying to achieve your goals all by yourself is unlikely to work, anyone can help you if you just ask for help, and people will surprise you how much they can (and love to) help.

A Hero’s Journey cannot be accomplished alone. Yes, you can accomplish a goal by yourself, but then it’s not a Hero’s Journey. The Journey requires mentors and allies. It’s natural to look to your current friends and family to be allies, but they may be too close to their old ideas of you or too vested in you staying the way you are to help you to change. Think of the Hero stories you know, the movies that come to mind: At the outset of her Journey, the Hero always acquires new allies.

It may be a little more challenging now in late-2020 with pandemic restrictions to find new, supportive groups, but it can be done. Perhaps one of the silvery-est linings to “no gatherings,” is that we are no longer limited by driving distance. Now you can be part of a like-minded group with anyone who is awake at the same time.

For the last three months, I have been part of a group peace meditation with participants all over the world, connecting through Zoom.

I attended a book launch party two weeks ago with dozens of others who would not have been able to attend had the event been held in person.

I have listened on a 12-step call to another person on the other side of the planet reflect my same pain. In this case, I “lurked” and didn’t share.

While I was supporting others, they were echoing support back to me in every case. I certainly miss the physical touch, the hugs. But we are coming together with intention, and these acts are holding us together (in so many ways) for now.

It’s easy to start and diminish your isolation. Search the web for an online meeting at a time that will work for you. You don’t have to turn your camera on. You can use an alias or your initials. You don’t even have to stay to the end. Try the one small step that will get you onto your Journey.

And if you can’t convince yourself you need the allies, attend the online meeting and be an ally for someone else.

“We depend on each others’ dreams coming true.” – Barbara Sher

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

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