I was thinking about the light we carry–the light we use–to illuminate our Journey.  It’s what we need to see the next few steps in front of us.  It’s a light inside of us that enables us to keep going when we’re on a dark road.

As soon as I started thinking about writing a post on illuminating our Journey, the message of Shadow kept showing up in my life. This makes sense. You shine a light, there will be a shadow! (There are many excellent books on Shadow work; try Debbie Ford or Dr. Connie Zweig.)  Shadow is some part of ourselves we deny. The surest way to find your own Shadows are to look at who you just cannot stand!

Most people tend to go to the negative, but Shadow can also be positive attributes if those qualities were not allowed when you were young or you didn’t allow them in yourself. (It’s critical to remember that Shadow is what we created to feel safe, to fit in, to be accepted–its purpose was to help you.)

For example, in many families being artistic is unacceptable.  It’s not a “real” job; it’s soft/feminine; it’s unlikely to make any money; it’s considered bohemian; etc. In order to fit into your family you suppressed your desire to make art and find yourself judging harshly anyone who you looks or acts even a little bit “artsy.”  If you do find the wherewithal to do a hobby art, you’re probably dismissive of your talent and creations especially when others compliment your work or bring attention to it.

Healthy sexuality can be a Shadow–the slut. Assertiveness in a woman–the bitch. Empathy and compassion in a man–the wuss. You can see how these attributes can manifest as people in your life that consistently show up for you to judge. You can feel safe when you do that because those qualities are all in someone else.

If you’re on your Hero’s Journey you will encounter your Shadows.  Facing your Shadow is built into the stages of the Journey. The reward for doing this work is not only enabling you to complete your Journey, but along the way you will become a more understanding and compassionate adult and help others integrate their own Shadows.

As always on your Journey, you don’t have to go this alone.  You have allies and mentors to help you.  And, if you can’t think of anyone who represents your Shadow self, just ask a friend or family member you trust.  They’ll know what it is!

Photo by Martino Pietropoli on Unsplash